Forensic Turkey Files

This post is a bit of a downer. So if you are having a lovely day, you might want to skip this one. 

I try to buy nice, small, free range turkeys most years. This year I was a bit late on my planning and my grocery delivery service brought me a butterball because they were all out of nice turkeys. I was ahead of the game last night and made my turkey stock while I did dishes. I dug through the bones and veggies trying to find the wishbone. I found it, but it was broken. I didn't remember mashing the carcass badly enough to break it in the pot.

I looked closer and could see that I did not inflict the abuse. This turkey had had a bad life. The turkey's collar bone had been broken and badly healed, judging by the reddened and lumpy bone that over-lapped oddly. 

I inspected a few more bones and found a vertebrae with one of the vertebral arches pulverized. I don't know if this happened during the turkeys final days, processing, or if it is the mark of some sort of disease. I looked at some other vertebrae and the broken one did look a little darker, so I'm guessing that points to a antemortem trauma.  

These findings made me very sad. I hate factory farms. Take care of your animals, even if you are going to slaughter them later. I think I might want to bring back my short-lived vegetarianism. 

De-Stress with Fancy Coloring Books: A Great Gift for All

Fancy coloring books are all the rage right now and I am totally on this bandwagon.

Fancy Coloring Books by kmfern featuring paris home decor

When I went to Barnes & Noble this weekend there were four different sections and an entire middle display table devoted to these beauties! I was the kid in a candy store.

The Harry Potter Coloring Book is tough to beat but the bottom row choices by Johana Basford are nearly perfect. 

These stunning coloring books are a wonderful way to clear your mind of any lingering thoughts. I quickly become preoccupied with color choice, strokes and patterns whenever I color. It has the added bonus of feeling rather productive. If you take care to color nicely these could easily become wall art worthy. 

I colored this one tonight with my middle son. Listening to him choose his favorite colors was so adorable. At first I was hesitant to share a page with him and I thought about giving him his own page because the perfectionist in me was creeping up lol. It ended up working out well because we were able to fill the whole sheet in less than 30 minutes.

Happy Coloring!

<3 KM

Post Apocalyptic Thanksgiving

Otherwise known as Thanksgiving in a can.

Are you locked in your bomb shelter after the big one? Are you stocking such a shelter for the big one? Are you just feeling really lazy and unenthusiastic about Thanksgiving? Well, have I got the products for you. 

Big Can of Turkey

This can has a 10+ years of shelf-life.  It is big enough to share with your bunker-mates or new-found zombie friends. And it comes with broth - perfect for constructing gravy with a little flour.  There is also the option of packet gravy. Oh, the choices in the end of days.

Dehydrated Potato Flakes

These are actually not bad as far as dried mashed potatoes go. Smothered in gravy you might not even be able to tell the difference.

Add some boxed stuffing and don't forget cranberry sauce.

 Chose any veggies in your arsenal to complete the meal, but may I suggest the fava - I mean lima beans to add a little green to your plate.

Pumpkin Pie

You need a desert, and while pie crusts may be in short supply, you can always just attack the can with a spoon. Pretend it is pumpkin pudding.

Canned Thanksgiving Dinner

Feeling depressed about the destruction of humanity? This is an option for the seriously down and out. Of course, you could always just give Dog Meat as a special treat instead.

Or if you are feeling to overwhelmed with RADs you can buy the simple option, but be aware that it doesn't include the pie-in-a-can.

Butter

And for bonus points, the perfect Thanksgiving condiment. Put a glob on everything!

Mealworms Eat Styrofoam!!! Random News

As you may have heard, there are tons and tons of plastics floating in our oceans. Much of this debris is plastic which will never degrade. Animals often eat the floating debris or get caught in it and die. It is just awful.

That's where these lovely little worms come in! I still think they look absolutely disgusting but the fact that they eat styrofoam earns them tiny super hero status.

Mealworms contain enzymes in their gut which can actually digest styrofoam. Scientists are studying these enzymes in order to synthesize a similar substance which may be able to disintegrate trash island and/or create other products that are easier to biodegrade. During the initial study Scientists found, "larvae that ate a diet subsisting strictly of Styrofoam were as healthy as mealworms eating a normal diet of bran (CNN)."

Trash island is apparently more like a highly concentrated plastic confetti solution rather than actual trash but it is still highly problematic for most ocean animals. Barnacles seem to love it though (iO9).

I feel like telling the whole world about these awesome creatures. Thanks for tuning in. Now if you have some extra mealworms lying around after feeding your strange pets you can help the environment by biodegrading some styrofoam - for the good of us all!

Although this is awesome it isn't a free pass to use plastic and styrofoam carelessly. Plastic pollution is still a huge problem and plastic manufacturing yields toxic byproducts. You can read more about the awful properties of styrofoam at EarthResource.org.

<3 KM

Pizza Rat Shirt

My man got me a ton a t-shirts for my birthday, including this pizza one. I decided to add some rats, mostly because I love them, but also because of Pizza Rat.

In case you missed it, pizza rat went viral a few months ago. So cute!

I drew some rats.

Then I traced them onto my shirt.

I got some fabric medium so mix with my acrylic paints. I filled in the pink and brown, and then added black outlines. Then I ironed it, like the bottle of fabric medium said to.

I kind of also want to add some yellow, drippy cheese, but that will have to wait for later.

Awesome Advent Calendars for All

Advent calendars are the perfect present peeking deterrent. Getting a little surprise every day until Christmas makes my boys and I just a little bit more patient. Chocolate is always a favorite but there are so many more options out there. Here are some of my favorites!

Primp and Relax Advent Calendars by kmfern featuring a mini nail polish

The Lush calendar in this set is my favorite of all but unfortunately it is $99. I could get a nice leather handbag on Black Friday for that price! Might be worth it though. Looks so relaxing!

Edible Advent Calendars by kmfern featuring a chocolate advent calendar

Noms! The Moostruck truffle tree is amazing but also the most expensive in this set at $65 for 24 truffles. Dope truffles. The tea advent calendar is a great idea for people who don't do chocolate. I can't imagine life without either.

Toys Advent Calendar by kmfern featuring Mega Bloks

Star Wars + Legos + Calendar = a great gift for any Jedi.

Toy Advent Calendar by kmfern featuring PLAYMOBIL

Some days I seriously consider convincing my boys that its cool to play with Barbies, just because the shoes and outfits are so adorable :P. It's okay though, I think I've graduated to re-ment sets.

<3 KM

Louise Hat

I made a hat like Louise's from Bob's Burgers for Halloween. I love Louise and her evil plans. She is my favorite cartoon character right now, which is saying a lot because I really like cartoons.

Unfortunately, I did not make it out this year, so I will have to think of something else fun to do with my bunny-ear hat. 

I made the hat out of pink flannel and used wire to make the ears stand up. I also added a couple of wig clips so it wouldn't fall off.

It also reminds me of Gummo, so that's a plus - maybe a 2 in 1 costume piece?

Half the Same Person - New Song on Soundcloud

Always in my DNA.

Half the Same Person

Sweet memories they never fade

No they're alive

Sometimes they change

You and I are half the same person

And all my hurts 

I know you could feel them

Half my joys are your joys too

Now its so good I wish I could show you

You and I are half the same person

And all my hurts 

I know you could feel them

Half my joys are your joys too

Now its so good I wish I could show you

Wish I could show you

Maybe its all meant to be

Maybe you're looking down at me

But we don't really know

No we don't really know

Maybe you're shining down from above

Sending us all your love

But we don't really know 

Don't really don't really don't really know

You and I are half the same person

And all my hurts 

I know you could feel them

Half my joys are your joys too

Now its so good I wish I could show you

Sweet memories they never fade

No they're alive

Sometimes they change

All rights reserved.

<3 KM